And I’m not feeling up to creating an original, year ender/beginner post, I’m following Riz‘ footsteps and I just collated snippets from previous blog entries (from my Tabulas, Multiply, and this). And anyhow, I can’t dream up a better year-capper anyway. So, here we go:

January
Stars in Pieces of Scratch:
I love our things. Everything is more fun when I’m with him. I’m never bored because we laugh, we fool around, we, er, makefunofotherpeopleharharhar, we play games. We’re just so crazy we’re in love. Or maybe we’re so in love, that we’re crazy.

Heartsongs
So she closed her eyes, and taught her heart to utter little syllables and hum tune-snippets as she sat on her petal. In time her Special Voice learned how to speak and sometimes even sing. She and Heart became good friends, and Girl listened to everything Heart tries to tell her. Many a-days, she just lay on a flower and watched the sky turn pink with her heartsongs, until one day Girl heard someone say: “You have a pretty voice,”

It was the Boy. Girl opened her eyes and gave him a smile, her whole face lighting up and her eyes dancing with the stars.

February
5 Things
My mom used to always ask God for signs, and these signs usually come in the form of white flowers. I guess, although I no longer believe in signs, white flowers, roses in particular always appealed to me because of that. Years ago, I used to dream all the time about me walking down the aisle with a bunch of white roses in my hand. It could be that in my mind, I saw it as an approval from God that I am making the right choice in one of the biggest decision I will ever have to make in my life.

And Then She Appeared
Birthdays, Christmas, New Year, and yes, Valentines. What’s wrong with setting aside one day to treat someone extra special? Try to make that one day extra memorable for him or her. And buy gifs and receive gifts that you can hug or post to your scrapbook. A letter is not too much, is it?

We, the young and young at heart, the giddy, eager celebrants have fun doing these cheesy stuff. Please do not rain on our parade.

March
So This is What They Call “Quarter Life Crisis”
I can’t think of any other reason except that I am such a terrible romantic and I believed in TRUE LOVE of all things, in spite of all that. That, and the dream that I would someday wake up next to someone I love and someone who loves me back–and the belief that God does things for a reason–keeps me in my warm, beautiful delusion. And who can tell, that might just come true in a few years or so.

Another Candle to Blow
On April 3, I would be (un)celebrating my first whole year as a non-student. And the truest thing I’ve learned so far is not all about the money, or how hard it was to earn it, or how fulfilling a job could be but the simple fact that most of the time, freedom is not so free.

BD bash, 1.7
Today we celebrate 1.7 (I’m sorry if I’m a bit cryptic with what I’m actually celebrating, I’m in a funny mood and I feel that they kinda make things more special). And all I can say is 1.7 makes me feel old and young and tearful all at once. I love the left-dimpled guy I spent 1.7 with. To bits. With all of me. From hair tip to toenail. Yeah you get the picture.

April
Damaged
Every parent will, in one way or another, damage their kid(s). This is inevitable. It could be intentional or not, direct or inadvertent. Either way, parents will always leave a crack on their offsprings’ personalities. It could be as insignificant as a scratch or as deep as a gaping volcano hole.

FUN!!!
Ever since a friend’s dad passed away, I’ve been thinking how death sometimes cheats us: coming when least expected, claiming the best of people. It sneaks behind our backs and snatches lives when you’re not ready for it to come. But then again, is anyone ever really ready to die?

May
It’s Like, Super!
Remember those semi-vague ideas for my future? They’re a bit more clear now And while I know exactly what I want and how I’ll get there, something tells me now is not yet the time. Something tells me to have a little more patience, to hold on a little longer. That He will tell me, some way, when the time is right

June
Me No Weirdo!
In retrospect, I think what makes it so hard for me to move on, or to change atmospheres/environment is the fact that I am the kind of person who really gets into settling down a certain place. In my native language, it’s what we call namamahay.

Nope.
She was sick and stayed at the hospital for a month, as I was told. And one day I just received a call from my mom, and she told me that my uncle called. And she was gone. And I sat down and scrubbed Badi’s walls.

Camz’ Secret Dreams
It’s kind of odd that I feel a little more free blogging here than at my old one. I’ve had that for years, which is why I am reluctant to let it go. The highest highs, the lowest lows, the failures and the thriumps, they are all recorded there. Leaving it would be like forgetting an old, favorite toy, or burning a few years’ worth of journals. But perhaps, my old blog and I have reached the peak of our relationship, that there are no more words left to say. I must admit that I feel less conspicuous here than when I blog there, my blog which seems to have everyone’s eyes on it. Or perhaps, it is just simply time to grow.

(Dis)enchanted
And now that I am basically an adult, and no one tells me what to do (well, my mom still does but I can choose not to obey her and not get palo. Hehe), there might be nothing else I would want more than to let other people take charge of my life. To be fed, and let other people worry about the money. To have decisions made for you. To be sheltered from all possible pain. Being an adult is not all it’s cracked up to be.

September
Aamira
No one knew how come she was so silent, or how her eyes got the wise, weathered look they had. She cannot be more than eight years old, and yet her aura is that of a person who has lived a hundred years. Indeed, some of the wiser tenants of the village often wondered what answers her eyes held, what secrets she kept in her heart. For inspite of all the attention she gets from her people, her fragile body exudes a certain loneliness.

October
Quarter-lifing, again.
If I was a bit younger, I would think that God shoves me just for the heck of it, or maybe because He likes getting a laugh, or more possibly because He enjoys watching us flail and fight and desperately try to resist the direction He is pushing us into. But now, I guess I realize that the lesson is not in trying to prevent the fall, but in how we choose to stand up.

November
Beneath The Candy Surface
I’m not naive, I know that SEBs happen all the time. Sometimes girls even initiate it. But it’s one thing to engage in a sexual escapade with someone who is at least of age–those who know what they are getting into–and it’s another to grab your chance because you know that you could easily overpower her.

Au Revoir, blog
The baby is now a lady. Moving on. Growing up. Whatever it is that they say when they move from one world to another.

I’m home. Follow me there?

Wellcome to the loo!
A friend got me started blogging way back in 2003, and that blog I kept for almost 4 years. It saw me through sucky professors, suckier boyfriends, and practically my whole college life is tabulated in that little space–a big reason why I stayed there for so long, even after seeing better and nicer blog platforms. I’m a pack rat, even online, you see.

Suicidal
But poverty is something I, and a lot of people, can relate to. How it sneaks up to a person and like a petty thief, snatches away your childhood before you’re old enough to fight back. How it could make you age faster than your years, how it makes you feel helpless and alone. Trapped.

And perhaps it is in this tiny acre of common ground, I find reason to send up a prayer for that little soul. They say that people who commit suicide will never get to heaven.

But I like to think otherwise. Perhaps she’s right there, right now, riding the bicycle she never had, her soul now light and free.

December
The Circle Comes to Close
Years and years of failed attempts made me lack faith in resolutions, particularly the ones I made around the New Year. While there is nothing wrong with wanting to change and improve, the way that life is made in a circular manner–where everything is just a cycle–render resolutions, at least in my case, useless.

So now, friends and foes.. I hereby bid 2007 adieu, and welcome 2008 with tears of joy! Nah I’m kidding.

This entry was posted on Saturday, January 5th, 2008 at 4:30 am and is filed under Random Blabs. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.